the fire escape
by hancali17
Summary: Raven and Clarke are best friends at Ark University, but things start to get interesting when Bellamy Blake and John Murphy cross their paths.
1. the fire escape

So the frat party got kinda crazy, and being the smart ass I am I pregamed with Raven who got me so fucked I blacked out by 11. Its 3 am now and I just woke up from a drunken nap on the hood of my car, I guess I walked back and couldn't remember how to get in. Anyway, all of the dorm doors are locked, my key is nowhere to be found, and Raven is probably too drunk to answer her phone. I have no way in.

I finally give up on my dirt soaked Forever 21 booties, and I throw them right into the dumpster. But then I notice something, a fire escape.

Ok, I just need to climb up there and go through a window. It seems simple enough. Calculating the fact that I'm half drunk I estimate that it was at least worth a try. So I slam the dumpster close, jump on, and attempt to hoist myself up on the fire escape. After three bruising attempts I'm able to make it to the ledge, ignoring the large cut I just got on my arm.

Now I have to get in through a window somehow. Wow this plan was not thought through at all, but I'm in too deep now. Lucky for me a light was on in one of the windows, so I tap as politely as I can on the glass.

The guy inside is typing furiously on his laptop and nearly drops the thing off the bed when he sees me. I give a feeble wave.

He stands up and glares at me, acting pretty agitated as he pushes open the window.

"Um, hello?" He says, "If your one of Miller's booty calls you're a little too late," he motions to the guy passed out on the other bed, fully clothed and covered in beer.

"I'm sorry this is weird," I stammer, "I was at the frat and I don't know what happened to my key."

"Ah," he said with an understanding smile like he goes to frats all the time. Due to the fact he was up late working I doubt that's true. As I crawl through the window and into the lit room I notice the small brown freckles speckled on the guys cheek, and he seems to notice my grimy bare feet.

He frowns at me, "Hey, you're bleeding," he says pointing to my arm. It's not the little cut I thought it was. My blood was now dripping down my wrists and for some reason I don't feel it all, probably because of the alcohol, or this guys worried eyes.

"Just sit down," he exclaims, pushing me down onto his bed before running to the bathroom.

I glance around the room, admiring the various Fall Out Boy and Rolling Stones posters on the wall. There's a framed photo on the nightstand of a younger version of the guy holding a small, tan looking girl in his arms and grinning. It's his sister, I guess.

He clambers back into the room with a towel and thrusts it into my hands, "Here, stop the bleeding with this," he directs me.

I fumble with it for a moment, drunk Clarke isn't as much of a doctor as sober Clarke. He kneels down beside me and opens up a large patch band aid, waiting for me to pull the towel away, which I don't because I'm too busy staring at his goddamn freckles. Finally he takes my hand and moves it so he can press the band-aid over the large cut in my forearm.

"You should probably go to the infirmary tomorrow, that fire escape is pretty rusty you could get-"

"Tetanus," I interject, "Yeah I know. I'm pre-med so,"

"Oh," he laughs, "then I guess you could've done this yourself then."

"Eh, I'm still a little weird, and it's nice having someone else do it for a change," He smiles up at me for a moment, but stands up awkwardly when he notices that he he's been holding my forearm for an intimate amount of time.

"Well I should head back to my dorm and make sure my roommate made is ok," I sigh, wobbling as I stand up.

"Yeah I heard the frat was insane," he says glancing over at Miller, "He's proof of it." He starts chuckling like he knows something I don't.

"Well thanks a lot," I say heading towards the door, but he slips past so he can open it for me, like a true gentleman. Usually I would say I can do it myself, but I'm just so done right now I probably couldn't if I tried.

"I'm Clarke by the way, Clarke Griffin." I mutter, as I stroll out the door.

"Bellamy Blake," I can hear the smile in his voice while he says it.

"Thanks a lot! See you around," I turn back and wave.

He was a pretty chill dude for letting me crawl through his window like that. It's surprising to meet a guy in my dorm I've barely seen before. I know he's watching me as I leave because I don't hear his door shut until I'm all the way down the hall. I smile when I hear it click. I really hope I do see him around.


	2. more than decent

The campus seems remarkably cheery even though midterms are coming like a vengeful storm, but even looming clouds in the distance couldn't stop the Ark University students from enjoying the breeze.

Even I'm elated because I'm coming back from my favorite course, studio drawing. It's the only course I take outside of the med school and it's the only thing that keeps me sane, especially with midterms coming up.

As I'm walking past the athletic facility I notice a guy walking around me, looking focused and kind of sweaty, he's probably coming from the gym. I recognize him immediately as the dude with the window and the Fall Out Boy posters. It was Bellamy Blake

His eyes meet mine as he goes by, and I watch as they flicker with recognition.

He slows down to walk beside me.

"Hey," he smiles, "Glad you don't have tetanus."

"My too," I laugh, feeling weirdly nervous. Very weirdly nervous. I never get nervous when I talk to guys unless they're creepy or something.

"Heading back to the dorm?" He asks.

"Yup," I nod, "My roommate is in class so I might be able to get some studying done-"

"Oh you better not be talking about midterms!" Bellamy exclaims, "You can't talk about that on a day like this," he says, opening his hands and gesturing to the clear sky and light breeze.

I just sigh and shrug my shoulders. He looks at me with half a smile and a ton of freckles.

"There's smudges on your face," he says.

"Ugh-" I said, rubbing my cheek as if it would help, "Charcoal," I grunt, "From art class."

"Whoa, I didn't peg you down as the artsy type princess," Bellamy laughs, "You seem a bit more…"

"Nerdy?" I finish his sentence, before processing what he even said to me.

"Did you just call me a princess?" I exclaim, "Where did you get that from?!"

He just grins at me then looks ahead at the green where some guys are playing Frisbee.

"I dunno, you just give me that vibe."

I laugh at him, "If you think I'm a princess you clearly don't know me very well."

"True," he sighs, "Maybe I could get to know you better."

Before I can meet his gaze to reply a guy comes running over from the field, I recognize him as Bellamy's drunk roommate from that night a couple weeks ago.

"Bellamy!" He shouts, then glances at me, "And lady friend!" He grins at Bellamy and gives him the thumbs up. I swear I can see some redness beneath his freckles.

"Were playing Frisbee and need a few more guys."

"Definitely!" says Bellamy, "Want to play, princess?"

"Princess!" Laughs Miller, "She does kinda look like one."

I just at the two of them, they're idiots, and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

"I'm good," I say, replying to their grins. Bellamy frowns at me.

"Well see you around," he says with a disappointed wave.

"See ya," I sigh, still stuck on his previous statement. I'd like to know him better too honestly. He seems decent, and cute, but I need to stay focused on college. Boys are at the bottom of my priority list right now.

I look back at the guys playing Frisbee and I spot Bellamy right away, standing there all focused before running for the Frisbee. He just misses, and I watch him laugh as he picks it up and chucks it right at Miller's back.

He's definitely cute, and he's definitely more than decent.

"Delta Phi!" Screams Raven as she rushes through the door. I jump up from my biology textbook feeling quite agitated.

"What the hell, Raven!" I shout sternly, but I start laughing at the excited grin on her face.

"Frat party!" She screams, "This Friday!"

"Didn't we just go to one of those?"

"Yeah but that was a Gamma something or other," she explains as if I should already know. I honestly don't give a shit about the frats but Raven seems pretty smitten, "This is Delta Phi! Their parties are always legendary!"

"Then why haven't you gone to one?" I asked.

"They haven't had one since their President got kicked out," she says as she collapses onto the bed. I turned back to my book hoping Raven was done fangirling over some filthy frat guys.

"Wait is this the frat down on the 100 block? The huge, sketchy one?" I ask.

"Yup," Raven smiles.

"All of the off campus frats and sororities down there are full of alcoholics and deliquents and-."

"Exactly! That's why they're so fun," she smirks at me and I just shake my head.

"The theme is badass," she says, I suppress a groan, I should've gone to the library.

"Yeah," I say without taking my eyes from my book, "What is it?"

"I told you, it's Badass."

"What? That's weird, what does that even mean?"

"It means dress like a badass!" She says going to her closet, "Of course I don't need to dress up cause I'm a fucking engineer," Raven jokes, "But you…"

"If you call me a princess I swear I will-,"

"You do kinda look like a princess," she says tilting her head as she examines me. I sigh, Raven of all people should be able to tell me I'm not a princess. Do I really act that way?

"You need leather, and eyeliner, and possibly a switch blade."

"I didn't even said I'm going yet!"

"You don't have a choice," she says as she tosses me her leather jacket, "Try this on."

I groan as I throw the thing on, knowing that I'll be forced to go somehow. No one ever has a choice with Raven.


	3. who he really is

Over the next week I see Bellamy a lot, on the grounds, walking to class, and around the dorm. I feel like his frequent appearances around campus had something to do with me but I tried not to think about it much. Our conversations were usually small talk, but I knew a lot about him, like how he likes to watch over his little sister and that along with Fall Out Boy he loves Hendrix and Fleetwood Mac. I liked him, when he wasn't calling me Princess, and in retaliation I nicknamed him freckles.

It's Friday now, and I realize that I forgot to ask Bellamy if he was going to the frat. After hours of preparation (and dread), Raven and I make it to the house by 10:30. The 100 Block is notorious for its host of crazy, reckless, and violent college students. Most of them are forced to live there because they were kicked off campus.

There's plenty of stories, and walking down the dark littered street makes me shudder. On the other hand, Raven, who's already had a good portion of rum, is sauntering merrily down the street. The grin on her face is badly contradicting her badass biker chick look.

"Delta Phi!" I hear two guys scream as they run past us, one of them looking quite childish in large biker goggles, and the other brandishing a large ziplock bag of what looks like weed.

Before I can stop her Raven is already hobbling after them right into the frat house. I pick up the pace, avoiding eye contact from some sleazy guys outside the house smoking cigarettes.

I walk in the unhinged door nervously, using my arms to cover my thoroughly exposed chest. I'm wearing Raven's tiny dark red tank, a leather jacket and an unholy amount of smoky eyeliner.

I feel less abashed when my eyes adjust to the dark house and all the drunken people inside; sporting ripped leather pants, spiked hair, and tattoos I really hope are fake.

The classic EDM party music is replaced for blasting metal and guitar solos. A frat guy offers me a beer and probably said some corny pick-up line, I couldn't hear anything over the roar of the speakers. I sip it as I wander around the disgusting house, hoping to find a trace of Raven.

There are piles of beer cans everywhere, and all the furniture is broken or too dirty to even touch, but that doesn't seem to stop people from hooking up everywhere.

Finally I see some smoke coming from the kitchen, and I follow the familiar scent to the two guys from earlier and Raven.

"Clarkeeeeeee!" Slurs Raven as she hugs me, "Where did you disappear to?"

"Where did you-"

"Everyone meet my outrageously hot friend Clarke!" screams Raven, interrupting me, "This is Jasper," she says pointing to the guy whose goggles are now backwards on his head. He lifts me up as he hugs me hello, making me laugh.

"And this is Monty, he is the man… The _man_ …" says Raven as she leans on Jasper for support, her bad leg making it harder for her to stand in her intoxicated state. Monty greets me with red eyes and a dazed smile. He hugs me for a while, not because he was a perv or anything, but probably because he's higher than a satellite.

Raven tells me they're juniors too, and they live in an apartment also on the 100 block. They got kicked out of their dorm for smoking too much weed, of course.

After listening to Jasper and Monty having a high and hilarious conversation about what to name their goldfish-

" _Why can't we just name her Smorgasbord?"_

" _Because Daryl is fierce!"_

" _Daryl is a boys name you piece of shit!"_

" _Who cares? For all we no she could be pangender!"_

-Raven drags them to go dance, while I look around for some hard liquor, because I'm a badass biker chick right?

I come across a dark, muscular guy, whose sleeve of tattoos ripples as he pours the girl next to him a shot. She downs it in one swoop, and smirks at him with strong, yet bright eyes. I recognize her from somewhere but I can't place a finger on it.

"I'll take two," I say to the guy. He glares at me with a stone like face before pouring the clear liquid into his Washington D.C shot glass.

"Me too," says the girl,

"I think your good, Octavia," says the guy, in a protective sort of way.

"Come on I can't let this girl do a shot on her own!"

He rolls his eyes and partially fills her touristy shot glass from Rome, buta she hardly notices as she clinks it with mine.

"To Delta Phi, and badass chicks," I say. She grins, and we both toss back. I grimace but Octavia cheers as she slams the empty glass down.

"What did you say your name was," she says, dancing slightly to the hard beat that just came through the stereo.

"Clarke," I smile, dancing along with her after I do my second shot.

"I'm Octavia and _this,"_ she says grabbing the tough guys arm, "Is Lincoln. _He's a senior at Navy,"_ she attempts to whisper. As Lincoln looks at her his stone face immediately softens, his sincerity surprises me.

I talk with them for a while, Octavia is a riot, and despite her mature features (and boyfriend) she's a freshman. She tells me she's a modern dancer, which explains her exuberant confidence and natural grace when it comes to dancing.

After a couple more shots I stumble into the bathroom-hardly caring that it's occupied-to assess the state of my face.

My make up is slightly smeared, my hair is disheveled, there's a mysterious substance on sleeve, and I give zero fucks.

As I walk back to Octavia and Lincoln I hear shouts over the music. They're coming from a guy in clearly not in party attire, who has his hand around Octavia's wrist and a finger in Lincoln's face.

"I told you to stay away from her!" The guy yells, and a feeling of shock and recognition sweeps over me. It's Bellamy Blake. I must've recognized Octavia from the picture in his room.

"You can't tell me what to do," says Lincoln, pushing Bellamy's finger away.

"What the hell is going on," I ask, suddenly feeling sober.

"My brother thinks he knows what's best for me," sneers Octavia as she too rips her writs away from Bellamy's.

He stands there dumbfounded, staring at me with his goddamn freckled face.

"Princess," he mutters.

"Freckles?" I say in reply.

"What?" Says Octavia, "You know her."

"Bellamy what are you doing," I say, even though I barely know the guy I feel like I have some say in this.

"Protecting my sister," he says glaring at Lincoln then back to me.

"From what? Lincoln?" I scoff, "I've known for like _two_ hours," I slur, "and I can tell he's a great guy. I get you're her older brother and you think you know what's best for her, but Octavia is old enough to be with who ever she wants."

"Yeah Bell, Clarke is right-" but Octavia's comment is cut off by a group of frat boys entering into the kitchen. One with menacing eyes and bruises steps right up to him and says, "We told you, you couldn't come back here, Blake."

"Calm down, Murphy, I just came for my sister," Bellamy says as he raises his arms and backs away.

"Oh really?" sneers the guy, Murphy, as he whips his long hair out of his face, "You're the reason we got kicked off campus, if you come around here you're looking for a fight."

"What the fuck?" I yell, "Bellamy what is this?"

"Your girl here doesn't know?" Laughs Murphy. _His girl,_ I repeat in my head, but someone from the cluster of people in the kitchen calls Bellamy something pretty nasty, interrupting my thought. I look to Octavia for conciliation, but her eyes are burning on Bellamy.

"Well Bellamy here, damn near fucked up this whole fraternity. Once he was voted president he changed our motto to "whatever the hell we want". That turned out well didn't it Blake?" He's yelling now, right in Bellamy's face. He turns to the crowd and yells, "It was utter chaos, he almost killed Atom for fucking Octavia!"

Bellamy's knuckles are white from holding his hands in such tight fists, "Don't act like I'm the only wrongdoer here! You drugged that girl-"

"At least I didn't ruin this frat for everyone," sneers Murphy as he pushes Bellamy against the fridge, "You can't blame other people for the fact that your sister's a fucking slut!"

I stand in horror as Bellamy throws Murphy onto the ground and starts beating his face, screams and blood seem to erupt everywhere. Lincoln starts to intervene but I stumble through the crowd and out the back door without looking back. I can't believe the guy who bandaged my bloody arm is now raging with some guys blood on his fists. Maybe this is who he really is.


	4. the bird and the catcher

Jasper and Monty don't give two shits about the fight happening in the kitchen, but I'm entranced with horror. The hot one who knows Clarke just went crazy on the other attractive instigator, Murphy. I can't help but feel bad for him as he screams with blood rolling down his mouth. I can't tell if it's the alcohol or the weed, but every time Bellamy's fist's hit Murphy's face I can almost feel it.

I assume that Bellamy was the president of Delta Phi and got the fraternity temporarily suspended and permanently kicked off campus. There were countless of incidents; 10 of the pledges had to go to the hospital from alcohol poisoning, people would get so high they would jump out of windows, and apparently Bellamy brutally assaulted a guy named Atom.

The guy Murphy had his rack of shit too, he had drugged some girl and posted pictures of her on the Internet, but apparently there wasn't enough evidence to incriminate him.

I can no barely stand the raucous shouts of the partygoers, so I hobble down the empty hallway and enter the first room I get to.

It's about the size of a prison cell and just as bleak. The bed is disheveled, the walls are bare, and the only decoration is a portable turntable, some records, and destroyed copy of _The Catcher in the Rye._

Being the drunk shit I am I collapse on the bed, and despite it's gross appearance it smells kind of nice; like skin and leather and pine needles. I start thinking about the hot TA in one of my engineering classes named Wick and begin to doze off, with a guitar hum from a distant speakers lulling me to sleep.

"Um, hello." The voice wakes me up, and I groan as I pull the covers over my head.

"Usually I wouldn't mind having a girl in my bed but this…" the voice pulls off the covers. Whatever he was going to say he didn't finish. I look up to see Murphy; bloody and battered from the beating he just received.

His face is emotionless as he looks down at me; his only movement is to push the tee shirt harder onto his face to stop the blood pouring out of his nose.

"Hey," I slur as I roll onto my side, "You just got beat up."

"Wow great observation," he sneers, "Now if you would,' he gestures to the door, but I don't budge. His bed is really comfy.

"Excuse you," I hiss as I pull the covers back over my head, "I'm an engineer, I'm stressed, I need a nap-"

Suddenly Murphy lifts me up, covers and all, and puts me on the floor. I don't mind until I look up at his blurry face, a mixture of confusion and blood, and I remember his story.

"You-" I mumble, but he's already walking away, probably to change his bloody shirt. I keep talking at the ceiling, "You're the bad frat boy."

I hear a sarcastic chuckle.

"It's not funny," I say, sitting up abruptly, "You exploitated that girl,"

"Didn't know exploitated was a word," he says as he sits on the bed in his fresh shirt, not even bothering to face me.

"You're an ass."

"Yeah, I am," he mutters, looking down at his hands with the same defeated look he gave Bellamy as got his face beat in.

"But I didn't assault that girl. I didn't even mean to drug her, I meant to drug this other guy. He stole my term paper and turned it in as his own. I put the drugs in his mother fucking drink, but then that bitch drank it instead. I didn't know what to do so I put her in my bed. When she woke up she just assumed, that I…. That I…" he stuttered.

"Why am I telling you this anyway?" He hisses, the angry and sarcastic façade returning as fast as it had disappeared. The blood begins to gush from his nose again, and he mutters a few curses before collapsing on the ground beside me. He bores his hands into his forehead as if it would somehow make him feel better.

"Here," I mutter, grabbing an old shirt off the floor.

"Just get out of here," He whispers without even looking up, "I don't need your pity."

My instincts seem to kick in and next thing I know I'm lifting his chin to wipe the blood from his face.

His breathing slows and I can feel his rage simmering away. I let my eyes trail off to meet his. We stay like that for a moment, partially shocked, partially entranced, but he places his hand over the shirt and stands up.

I watch from the floor as he pulls out cigarette and lightly taps it on the dresser before pressing it to his lips and lighting it. He glances in my direction as if to offer me one but I shake my head in reply.

"So are you gonna finish your story?" I ask.

"I guess I'll just tell you what you really want to know, which is the worst part… that's what everyone always wants to hear," Murphy doesn't even look at me as he speaks but he sits back down beside me and takes a long drag from his cigarette.

"The worst part is all these guys who are supposed to be my brothers thought that I did it, testified against me too. Apparently it was one of her friends that took the pictures and posted them as a joke. But, of course she only admitted to it after I got strung up. I was already packing my stuff when that bitch confessed."

I sit up, offering my worried silence as a queue for him to continue.

"No that's not even the worst part," he said slowly, the blood still dripping off his lips, "The girl, Charlotte her name was, felt so bad about it, about being kicked out and doing that to her friend she uh… she uh-" He gasps and turns away, rubbing the pale skin of his forehead.

"I just feel like the worst shit is always happening, I feel like there's always someone writing a "fuck you" right under my nose and there's no way to stop it. I have as much power in this world as a mosquito and about as much importance too…"

His words are laced with deep agitation. Every breathe he draws seems to be angry and frustrated and all I want to do is calm him down and tell him it will all be okay, but the crazy gleam in his eyes is a cause for concern.

"What do you mean?" I stammer.

"I can't explain what I mean," he says through shallow breaths, "And even if I could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it."

I'm not a pre-med like Clarke but I can tell this guy is having some sort of J.D Salinger induced panic attack.

"Whoa there Holden," I say as I move to wrap some of my blanket around him.

He looks at me, distraught and asks, "You got the reference?"

"Of course I did, Salinger is iconic, and The Catcher in The Rye is the only décor you have in this room."

He laughs but his breathing is still heavy as he rubs his forehead with the heel of his hand.

"Just relax Murphy, you got fucked over just put it behind you."

"How can I put it behind me when I see them everyday?"

He flung his dark hair down over his face to cover the look of defeat in his eyes. All I could think to do was wrap my arms around the poor guy, so I did.

Maybe it's the alcohol, but honestly, I think it's that look in his eyes as he kills himself with smoke that brings out some compassion that I didn't even know I had.

I'm about to turn up a dim alley and back onto the main road when I hear some shouts and the thump of what sounds like someone's body falling on the concrete.

I look back to see Bellamy heaving on the ground, blood tracing his lips.

I want to keep going but all of the instincts instilled in me by my mother and my teachers tell me to look back and see if he's okay.

He's silent as he stands up, but by the sorry look in his eyes I can tell that he notices me.

"Clarke-" he begins to plead with me but I cut him off.

"Just shut up and let me check you out."

He raises his eyebrows at me but I don't find it the slightest bit amusing.

"This is just because I'm going to be a doctor and it's my duty to help people," I say sternly as I check out his fingers, "Not because I like or care about you."

"Clarke he deserved it-"

"Well according to them you deserve it too…" I try to hold my glare against his sorrowful eyes but I find it quite difficult. I've never seen him look so upset before. I don't understand why it pains me to see him this way.

Suddenly, I realize that I've been holding his hands for an intimate amount of time and I push them away. "They're not broken you're fine."

I turn away but he grabs my wrist.

"Let me explain-"

"Explain what? How you're insanely protective of Octavia and you tried to kill someone over her? Or How you let all those people get hurt when you were supposed to be protecting them? You can't just blame your temper on that…" I sigh for a moment, trying to find my words, "I though I knew you Bellamy, but know that I've seen what you're capable of I don't want to know any more."

"Yeah Clarke, I did shitty things, but I paid for them. And you do know me. A lot better then those guys who just beat me up actually. I'm not the President of Delta Phi, I'm not that guy anymore."

"Then who are you?" I sigh, "Because with all that blood literally on your hands, it sure as hell seems that way."

I search back inside the frat for Raven, but instead find Monty sleeping on Bellamy's friend Miller and Jasper getting a lot more than friendly with a pre-me girl I faintly recognize.

Despite the brawl that took place not even 10 minutes ago, everyone is back on the dance floor or playing beer pong like they were never interrupted.

Next thing I know there's another beer in my hand and I'm dancing alongside some girls named Harper and Monroe.

I start doing my signature move where I roll my body in a pretty sexy way and I look around to Raven for approval. When she's nowhere in sight I finally remember why I came back in the first place.

"Oh fuck," I whisper under my breath as I ditch my beer and storm down the hallway.

I enter a couple rooms without knocking (which I sincerely regret) before I come upon Raven, who's wrapped in covers and leaning on someone's bed.

I get a closer look and realize it must have been Murphy's because his face is buried in Raven's neck as they sleep in each other's arms.

I barely know the guy but I take a pretty amusing picture of them anyway.

"Raven." I whisper as I shake her shoulder, "Raven we gotta go."

She groans and then laughs when she realizes the guy in her arms.

"Shit," Murphy says as he wakes. He stands up quickly when he notices me.

"Thanks for letting me sleep in here," Raven says as we leave.

Murphy smirks in reply and gives a feeble wave.

"Wait!" He calls after us, "You never told me your name."

"It's Raven Reyes," she smiles, "Let me know if you need someone to nap on again."

"Raven," he repeats as if to himself, "Will do."

"I was looking everywhere for you!" I exclaim as we walk down the 100 block of Ark Street, folding our arms against the wind.

"I'm sorry," she sighs, "I was drunk. We just started talking and then passed out I guess."

"Well at least you weren't fucking." I joke, Raven laughs for a moment, then stops in her tracks.

"What are you doing?"

"What happened with you and Bellamy?"

"Nothing, I'm just not going to hang out with him anymore. He's not who I thought he was."

"I mean he just got in a fight-"

"Yeah but it's not his first time!" I exclaim, "He's not a good guy."

"The way you talked about him he seemed great."

"Well that was before I knew what he was capable of."

Raven merely sighs, and we spend the rest of the cold walk in silence.

I don't know why but my thoughts keep wandering back to Bellamy. I just need to ignore him and hopefully all these feelings, whatever they are, will go away.


	5. who wants another round?

It's the night after my last midterm, and like the rest of Ark University I'm celebrating. The campus pub is packed with students and the dim lighting and low walls make everything feel compact and uneasy. I soon realize that it's not the bar making me feel uneasy but the premonition of not having a huge amount of course work for awhile. I don't know what I'm going to do with so much free time… it kind of scares me.

But after my second beer I throw away those thoughts and try to talk to Raven, it feels like forever since we've actually hung out.

It's impossible to have a conversation with her though, because she's constantly texting away and laughing at her phone screen.

"So…" I yell over the din of the pub, "Your exams went well?"

Raven doesn't even look up.

"Raven… Raven!" I sigh and decide to use an ulterior method to get her attention. I quickly find that hilarious picture of her and Murphy and send it to her.

Immediately she looks up from her phone with her mouth gaping.

"Oh my god!" She screams through the noisy air, "Is this from the frat?"

"Oh yeah," I reply with a grin, "You were gone."

She tilts her head back and her infectious laugh reaches me and I start giggling too.

"We look so cute," Raven says, looking back down at the photo.

"Yeah, all that blood is just so adorable," I joke.

"I wish I got his number-"

"Who! Murphy's?" I interrupt her.

"Who else?" She replies, glaring at me with her brown eyes, "He's…. interesting… and misunderstood. He just intrigues me, I don't know…"

"Oh…" I tease her, "Raven likes a little mystery?"

But she doesn't even hear me because she's back laughing at her phone again.

"Okay seriously who is it?" I implore.

"It's the squad group chat," she giggles without looking up from the screen, "They're hilarious."

I forgot that Raven's been spending a lot of time with those guys we meet at the frat two weeks ago. She's been studying with Monty and Miller a lot, and meeting Maya and Harper for coffee. She invited me to tag along but I've been too busy stressing over exams.

"Where are they? Why don't they meet us?" I suggest. I'm ecstatic that I can finally be social, and even though I love Raven I need more people to hang out with.

In a matter of minutes we manage to squeeze into a booth with Monty, Jasper, Miller, Maya, and Harper. They all seem to be talking about some inside joke that I'm not part of and laughing like idiots.

"So this is _the_ Clarke Griffin," says Jasper, "Raven never shuts up about you."

I grin at Raven and she gives me a look like _that's totally not true._

"Jasper you've already met her, she was at Delta Phi!"

"Yeah we had some good times," interjected Harper. I remember dancing with her and Maya at the frat, "She has _moves."_

We start talking about our majors and interests, and Jasper and Monty start bickering over their goldfish again. I get why Raven likes these guys so much, they're pretty goddamn entertaining.

It's easy to pick out the couples in the group too; Jasper either has his arm around Maya or his hand firmly in hers, and anyone can tell that Miller and Monty are infatuated with each other just by looking at the two of them.

A couple beers later the conversation gets thrown back to the party a couple weeks ago, and we get on the topic of the infamous ex-president of Delta Phi, Bellamy Blake.

At that moment I just want to go to the bathroom but I'm too deep in the booth, squished between Raven and Miller, to escape. And of course Raven has to make the whole thing worse.

"Clarke and Bellamy were talking too! They would get coffee together and text all the time, it was so annoying."

"Shut up Raven!" I say in a low voice so she can only hear, "Let's not talk about it."

"Oh yeah, we know," says Miller, whom I forgot was Bellamy's best friend and roommate, "After you climbed through our fire escape that one time he would not shut up about you."

It took all of my will not smile.

At that comment the table was in an uproar; asking me about the details between Bellamy and I and how the fuck I ended up on his fire escape.

"You know he feels really bad about what happened," says Miller only to me, "He's a great guy, he just made some mistakes."

"I know," is all I can muster up to say. I look down at my phone, _I really know,_ I think to myself. He's texted me apologizing about ten times. I didn't reply to any of them.

Raven saves the day then, and yells, "Who wants another round?!"

She nudges my shoulder and smiles at me.

"I still ship you guys though," she whispers.

I groan and take a huge gulp of beer, hoping that everyone, me especially, will just forget about it.

Most of the pub crowd clears out by 11 to go to other clubs and parties but our group remains in the tiny booth, drinking, laughing, and eating way too many chicken wings.

I have to pee so bad that I crawl under the table and through everyone's legs to escape. I feel a little lightheaded as I stand but I regain my composure after a few seconds of shaking out my shitty leg.

I'm so happy Clarke's getting along with everyone, hopefully they'll help her let loose since she's been so wound up lately. It takes so much effort just to get her out of the dorm.

I think she's depressed because it was exactly a year ago today that her father died, and she couldn't go home because of midterms. I assume that studying for her is just a distraction, and her diligent work ethic keeps her from grieving.

I could tell it was bothering her because she barely looked up from her books anymore; every ounce of free time was either spent in the art studio or isolated in a library cubicle.

We barely spend time together anymore. I just wish I could talk to her about it.

The sound of the bathroom door slamming open and a loud string of curses brings me back to reality.

"Fucking shit!" I faintly recognize the voice so I open my stall door, and to my astonishment I see Murphy leaning over the sink with his hands all covered in blood.

I don't say anything for a moment, just cross my arms and gaze at his reflection in the mirror. He's wearing an Ark University Pub t-shirt so I assume that he works here, and his unruly hair is hanging down just above his cheekbones.

He looks up and gapes at me in the mirror.

"Raven?" He asks, and whips around to face me.

"How come every time we see each other you're covered in blood and I'm too drunk to stand?" I say right back.

He just smirks and wraps his hand in a paper towel.

"What happened?" I ask, stepping a little closer to him.

"Dropped a glass," he shrugs, "Don't know why I came in the ladies' room though."

"Probably luck," I say, raising an eyebrow.

"Probably fate," he says, looking down on me with his mischievous blue eyes, "If you believe in that stuff."

"Guess I do now," I shrug, "I was thinking about you earlier today- I mean what happened at the frat-."

Shit I must be drunker than I thought if I really just said that.

He laughs at me as I lean against the wall for support; my leg wasn't really working anymore.

"Whoa there," he laughs as I slip down a little further. Murphy tries to help me stand but I'm so done I just sit down and lean against the wall.

"Are you okay?" I ask as he sits down besides me, "The first time we met-"

"I'm fine," he interrupts me and shakes his head, "I was just really drunk and distraught. I'm not usually like that."

"Then what are you usually like?" I nudge him. My flirt game is always stronger depending on the amount of alcohol in my system.

"You don't want to know," he replies.

Wow, flirt game rejected.

"Well I should probably get back to work," he stands up and stretches his arms, "And you should probably get back to your friends."

I'm a little pissed as he grabs my hands and helps me up. Usually I can get any guy to do basically anything. Murphy just wasn't the horny engineer that I usually go for.

Maybe that's why he intrigues me so much.

He's walking out of the bathroom before I can say anything more, and I sigh as I limp a little back to the booth.

We hang out for another hour before we leave, and I take the occasional opportunity to glance at Murphy as he wipes down the bar top.

A couple of times he even looks back.

The last customers finally leave around 12:30, and I sigh in relief as I collapse down in one of the empty booths that I still have to clean.

I got a proper bandage for my hand, because the cut was pretty deep but I don't have the money (or insurance) to waste on getting stitches.

I lift my head up and notice the check still stuck to the moist tabletop, and I'm about to crumple it up when I realize there's sloppy pen marks all over it.

 _For when ever you're not 'fine',_ it says, followed by a phone number.

Scrawled below it in huge cursive letters it says _–Raven_

I let a smile slip onto my lips, and I immediately copy the number into my phone.

It takes me awhile but I finally text her, because who gives a fuck right? Raven was cool and definitely way out of my league, and it's not like I have anything to lose.

 _ **Murphy**_ _, 1:03 AM: I won't be fine on Friday, maybe you can stop by the bar and we can take a nap?_

 _ **Raven**_ _, 1:05 AM: I'll bring the blanket._


End file.
